Friday, December 16, 2016

338. Sorry for onesself

This is the year that I learned to stop feeling so damned sorry for myself. That whiny quality is not an attractive one. I’ve been to known to drag on myself for not being on par with my friends in various levels of my life: dating, marriage, kids, etc. I’ve learned that, in 99.9 percent of circumstances, that’s totally fine. You don’t need to impress everyone in the world. And most of the times, things just take longer. As I think I’ve written on this blog before, I’ve dealt with rejection this year. Nothing that was absolutely heartbreaking, but it was frustrating, and at times, painful.

Many times I’d just deal with that frustration by having a few extra drinks and texting a bunch of people. I know that’s not healthy. The past times that it has happened, I went out for a run. That’s a much better way to deal with stress or rejection. Being rejected or frustrated is not a unique quality to just one person. Everyone has to deal with that crap. I think some people are just better at dealing with it than others. I also like spending time with people who are more honest about those things as opposed to people who try to bury their feelings about things.

One thing I like to tell myself when the chips are down: I like who I am. If I were someone else, I think I’d probably be friends with me. Yeah, I can be a stealth jerk at times, or to deflecting. But for the most part, I think I’m a good and fun person who people like to hang around with. That’s what I have going for me. I know what I like: running, soccer, writing, art, catching up over beers. It doesn’t have to be too much more complex than that. Do what you like and so many things will grow upon that.

As I have also said before, it’s great when you finally get to know yourself enough to be confident in your decisions. The other day I came home after work. It was cold and I didn’t want to go to Yoga. I knew I needed to do some sort of physical activity or otherwise I’d be a blubbering wreck unable to do anything. So I pulled out an old friend, the seven minute workout. I did a couple of circuits on that. It wasn’t a total workout, but I felt a lot better.

I know I’m still not perfect. I fully accept that life will not always be puppy dogs and rainbows. Things will get bad, and then they’ll get worse. However, it’s good to have a few weapons that can fight the ebbs and flows. I know that the little joys and excitement of things are so important in the fight against awful stuff. I’m going to hold on and run with those things in the year 2017. It’s fine to feel upset or depressed, but get over feeling sorry for yourself, that’s never worth it.

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