The Pats Poet: Week 1 Report Card

The Pats Poet: Week 1 Grades
Because who doesn’t love a Haiku

Get out your "Prose for Dummies" books, folks. The Pats Poet is here to hand out the letter grades for week 1.

Quarterback: A-

Tom Brady knows he’s
One tough metrosexual
Eyes toward Big Easy

-Tom Brady must been one of those kids who got really excited to get back to school after a long summer vacation. Of course, anyone who has as many tools at their disposal as Brady does would be eager to get back to work as well. The only knock on the QB from this week was the lack of success throwing the deep ball (only two receptions +20 yards). However, if Stevan Ridely can keep up his running game and the Pats can successfully execute the no-huddle, short pass offense, maybe they won’t need to rely on the deep threat.

Running Back: A

Ridley riding high
Brings back such fond memories
Of one C. Martin

-This was one of the biggest surprises of the week. Stevan Ridley has already equaled the number of +100 yard games that Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis had in 2011. Week 3 against a much more well established Ravens defense will be the first big test for the second year back.

Wide Receivers: B

Where was Wes Welker?
It’s really got fans worried
But B. Lloyd looked good

-Wes Welker’s contract is going to be a talking point all season. However, one “un-wes like” game (three catches for 14 yards) should not be cause for alarm. Welker is a consummate professional and he isn’t known as a whiner. Julian Edelman will need to contribute more (one catch for seven yards) if Welker is not contributing. Other than one long overthrown ball in the beginning of the game, Brandon Lloyd (five catches for 69 yards) looked like he will fit in nicely amongst the Patriots receivers. 

Tight Ends: A+

Gronk miss the Gronk spike
What can we call these two guys?
Aaron Hernan-does?

-Did Gronk break the Sports Illustrated cover jinx? Gronk showed no ill-effects from being on the cover of the magazine’s NFL preview issue. (Other than a TD celebration fail.) Gronk also had a nice block on a 15 yard run for Ridley. Hernandez showed his versatility in the second quarter by coming in for a wildcat set and rushing for a first down.

Offensive Line: A-

Brady hurts the schnoz
Other than that, real,good , day
Brian Waters, who?

-The O-line opened up holes all day for Stevan Ridely. Left Tackle Nate Solder also did a fine job limiting Titans DE Kamerion Wimbley to two tackles. And other than the one sack, Brady was well protected in the pocket.

Defensive Line: A
D E Chandler Jones
Plays like a video game
Johnson no factor

-Was it fate that Chandler Jones made defensive headlines this week? A fan playing Madden 13 may have thought so. The fan tweeted a screenshot of a digital Jones making nearly the exact same fumble causing play that he did in real life. Kyle Love and Vince Wilfork literally stopped Chris Johnson in his tracks. The Titans titans running back was -3 yards going up the right side of the field.

Linebackers: B

Mayo, Spikes, Hightower

One scary sounding law firm
All about the hits

-It was all about the hits for these guys. Jarod Mayo had 11 tackles almost evenly distributed amongst the sides of the field. However, Jake Locker wasn't nearly pressured enough in his first game as a starter.

Defensive Backs: C
It was the McCourty twins
that may have confused these refs
Missed big PI call

-Even though Kyle Arrington tipped a ball that led to an interception, things could have gone a lot worse for this unit. The Titans burned the right side of the Pats secondary on two pass plays for gains of 29 and 35 yards. They need to wake up for Larry Fitzgerald next week.

Special Teams: B-
Gostkowski perfect
You don’t mess with the Zoltan
Punt Returns, messy

-Stephen Gostowski was perfect from extra points and field goals. Zoltan Mesko pinned his punts so precisely that the Titans didn’t return a single one of them. However, the rest of the unit was a bit messy. Titans returner Darius Reynard blew by the return coverage team and averaged 24.5 yards per return. Julian Edelman didn’t convince anyone that he is a perfect fit for the punt return role. The receiver only managed 6.8 yards per return.

Coaching: A

Belicheck, hoodie
Brings back the no huddle scheme
Titans caught off guard.
-The Pats  silenced Chris Johnson, got good contributions from the rookie defenders, and pushed the throttle of the game by going no-huddle for a few series. Nice work, Bill. 

Next week: Iambic Pentameter
Until then.