Thursday, February 18, 2016

47. Small Joys

I’ve come to relish those small, fun moments where you find something good and keep it all to yourself. Often it’s when I’m walking around the skyway and listening to a podcast and I feel like I’m in on a secret that the dozens of people walking by me have absolutely no idea about. It’s usually when I’m listening to the Men in Blazers podcast when those inside jokes come to light. I love them.

There are also times when I have a song stuck in my head and I sing or hum random words to it as I’m walking somewhere. Usually it’s only part of that song and I end up repeating that song multiple times throughout the day. Today it was the Eagles’ “Take it Easy.” That’s a song I hadn’t heard in years, yet I ended up singing it to myself throughout the day. It’s a little victory. I could have shared it or tweeted about it, but I wanted that random act of weird joy to myself. (Which I realize is now not so secret due to my writing about it.)

I had another one of those moments on my drive home from work today. I put on “Quinn the Eskimo” by Bob Dylan on in my car. That’s a weird song. It’s also not the stereotypical Dylan song. It’s got an electrified gut bucket opening riff that puts you in a good. And the chorus, “When Quinn the Eskimo gets here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy,” just makes you feel good. So, naturally, I sang along.   

I’ve clutched those small joys in my day. I’ve been told numerous times that “you need to find out how to be happy yourself before you can make someone else happy.” I never really knew what that meant. I thought making other people happy would make me happy. It works to a point. It’s exhausting to give yourself to others all the time without stopping, taking a break, and smiling.

I’ve been trying to cut down on Twitter. The barrage of people’s emotions just overwhelms me. People always need to vent, or make a snide remark, or remark how #blessed they are. No one can have a normal day on Twitter, at least if you want to get attention. Your happiness needs to be validated by other people before it’s real.

I also need to be validated a lot. I get stuck when making decisions and I often ask a bunch of questions before I proceed with things. While it’s wise to seek advice from people, a lot of times it’s best to do what’s best for yourself.

I’m not someone who’s “good” at praying or has a consistent, well-developed prayer life. What I try to do is find those moments that appear throughout the day that appear to come from a higher power. They can be a scene, a song, or one of those moments that make me smile. Not everything good in life is loud. Some of the best things are so small, only you can see them.

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